every time I open up…

… I inevitably live to regret it. At first, rejection and breakups are easy enough to bounce back from. However, if you look back and realize 90% of your romantic couplings crash and burn, you start to feel heavily flawed and unworthy. I continually open up and without fail, I get crushed…and tbh, I’m just so. tired. The older I get, the more I see how love is absent from my life. I have a sinking feeling I’ll never know a mutual romantic love with any longevity. I wish I weren’t anchorless…and for once, I wish I were normal. To experience life as normal gals do is a fantasy and nothing more. Yet, tonight,the fantasy is all I have to hold on to. It is what keeps,me from crossing a line I vowed never to cross again. Now, for bourbon…

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